I don’t remember when the shadows entered me; if they were always there, or found their way in. They are the demons I battle every day. With or without constant support, they will always linger in the back ground – waiting for the time to escape and strike. Hungry beasts, they feed on my emotions; but I am determined to starve them. Their guttural snarls can be heard with every whiff they take of my mind. With each whiff, I fear the release from the prison in which they are bound. Their teeth snip at my heels, keeping me on my toes.
Everyday, I maneuver through life’s pitch, trying to keep my head above the surface of the darkness. My footing must be sure; gnashing traps and umbrageous forces anticipate a fault in my step. The fluctuations of sensibility streaming through my mind, leaves me as an effortless quarry for their onslaughts. I go into combat with my blade and shield, primed to take them on with all my desire to survive this existence. With my assembled ground forces, I cannot be subjugated. There are too many whom rely on my successes to consent to the injustices against my perspective.
Vulnerable. I spent all my life trying to compensate for a feeling of helplessness; targeted by physical and emotional trials. From what realities I conquered, I inspire a sensitive impression of dignity. I battled the seen and unseen obstacles with a tenacious vengeance. The journey conceived a strength to challenge the adversities life did not hesitate to provide. Many tears were shed, but with each tear, I matured far beyond the anticipated reactions. I am here because of my choices and mistakes. I am here to tell my story. Though, my accomplishments did not come without poignant sacrifices that I continue to fight.
Today, days are full of blessed smiles and unburdened laughter; gentle love and fiery passion; motivated creativity and pleasant boredom. Life is simple and vaguely complicated, yet there are no complaints. The contentment gives me momentum to sustain the movement. I cannot see life as anything less than it is now. My desire is stronger than ever to create a wistful existence. I am the exception. I will not settle; I am more than my experiences.
Defeating the demons, I gained myself and my weakened sanity. I can look back at where I came from with a fierce determination only harrowing combat could initiate. It is a miracle how I defied the odds fabricated against me. Never did I expect to annihilate my opposition; my hysterical prison. The battle is won. I can stand before the world with a fist in the air; I dare you to try again!
The dark days were not fought alone. Without the aid of those I hold dear, my story would never have come to fruition. I would merely be words in the newspaper obituary; a light lost and forgotten over time. The assault; I would have succumbed to its obscurity. An extinguished candle would remain for those who wanted to remember, though there would be nothing of importance to recall. We are all merely flickers in eternity, and mine has found its way home.